Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Taking the Next Step


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Saying "I do" is definitely not something to take lightly. We all have one life to live, and it's so important to make sure we spend our lives with our very best partner.

If you're considering getting married, I strongly suggest diving in and asking each other the hard questions. In an effort to facilitate that, the following questions may help.

Consider making a few dates with your love and running through each of these questions.

Question About Family

  1. What beliefs do you have about yourself that resulted from your childhood?
  2. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be and why?
  3. Were you allowed to express your emotions as a kid? Why or why not?
  4. What are your views on race, ethnicity, and politics?

Questions About Love & Relationships

  1. Were there any red flags you saw in past relationships that you ignored? Why do you think that was?
  2. What were some of the mistakes you made in past relationships with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
  3. What did your past relationships teach you about love, trust and commitment?
  4. Were any of your past relationships physically or emotionally abusive? Explain.

Questions About Money & Finances

  1. How would we navigate a drastic career change once we’re married?
  2. Have you ever run into trouble with debt? Do you have any debt and if so how much? Tell me about it.
  3. Which one of us will pay the bills? Or will we share that responsibility?
  4. If we have differences regarding our finances, how will we plan on resolving them?
  5. How compatible are we in our money styles, and how will we handle finances once married?
  6. Are you willing to relocate for either of our jobs and if so, to where?
  7. How much a month can each of us spend without any rules and without having to ‘ask permission’?
  8. What will happen if one of us loses a job or is laid off? What would be your plan of action?

Questions About Sex

  1. Is there anything from your past that might affect our sex life?
  2. What are ways we can make sure our sexual intimacy stays a priority once we’re married?
  3. Do you consider watching pornography cheating? Why or why not?
  4. When one of us is not in the mood for sex, what should be communicated so neither of us feels rejected?
  5. Are you comfortable discussing our sexual likes and dislikes? Why or why not?
  6. Who taught you about sex? Was it helpful or a hindrance?

Questions About Spirituality

  1. How important is spirituality to you?
  2. What are five things we have in common?
  3. Do you think we are spiritually compatible? Explain.
  4. What are your thoughts about prayer and mediation?

Questions About Your Current Relationship

  1. What can I do that provides the greatest comfort and encouragement for you when you are hurt, fearful, anxious or worried?
  2. In what ways has our relationship changed you?

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