As a part of self-care it's vital that we all have moments to ourselves. It's in our quietest moments that we can heal our hearts and minds and make tangible plans for the future.
Whether this means taking a bath while reading a great book, taking a short trip to visit your favorite places alone, or arranging special moments with your friends, time alone is a precious gift.
Regardless what you want to do with your alone time, it's your right.
When in a partnership, sometimes finding time for ourselves can be a challenge. It's not uncommon for couples to nest together, and before they know it realize they're not spending enough alone time to hear themselves think.
If you've found yourself craving alone time, this is a beautiful thing.
It's your heart, mind, and body asking for what it needs most. The following are some tips to help you navigate through the process of carving out alone time for yourself with your partner's support. It may be a bit challenging in the beginning, but with a bit of communication, you'll find the space and freedom you need so badly.
#1 - Be specific as to what you need and why.
One of the worst things we can do when speaking to our partners is to use vague statements like, "I just need some space." These statements can be scary for our loved ones.
It's important that you explain that your need for time alone has nothing to do with them, but are a normal part of functioning as an individual.
Be as open and honest as you can be. Let them know that you're constantly on the go and surrounded by people more often than not. Share your plans and why it's important you recharge your battery on your own.
#2 - Reassure your partner that your need for alone time doesn't mean you want emotional distance from them.
When asking for alone time, it's so important to be clear that you just need a minute on your own and then will come back ready to connect again.
As mentioned above, it's quite an interesting phenomenon when we connect with a long term/life partner. No matter how independent we all may consider ourselves, it's not uncommon to wake up one day and realize our concepts of independence have completely shifted.
This is common, and it's important to assess the comfort zone that's been created. Finding a healthy sense of space is an important step for both partners. The goal is to discover together that providing each other freedom to breathe creates a stronger and healthier bond.
#3 - Start a discussion, not an argument.
Sometimes your request for space can cause some discomfort in your partner. If for any reason your they feel bad or get upset, make sure you still stay true to your inner needs. Stay calm throughout the discussion.
Reiterate your reasoning for wanting some time to yourself and do everything you can not to argue. Be clear with your needs and wants. Then, set concrete dates and timeframes.
For example, if you want to create a yoga routine every Tuesday and Thursday evening, let your partner know why it's important to you. Then, put the class days and times on a calendar
Or, maybe you want to spend more time with friends one-on-one. Plan ahead and share your timing with your partner.
#4 - Don't feel guilty about your needs.
You may conclude that your desire for time by yourself is a selfish thing, but it's important to remember that you can't be a good partner or friend without moments to yourself. Being rooted in who you are and what you need is essential!
If you find yourself feeling bad, keep reiterating that spending time apart is a sign of a healthy relationship.
#5 - Make your reunion meaningful.
When you reconnect with your partner, make it special! If you've been out on the town with friends, give your other half tons of affection.
Or, maybe when you're out order something special for them and bring it home.
Spending time apart can fuel the fire between you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!
