Let’s face it, being a woman in today’s world can be so complicated!
As we give our all to working hard, providing for our families, raising kids, cooking, cleaning, giving back to the community, making sure our kids are happy, spending time with family and friends, meeting the world’s expectations, and more, we can easily lose track of the most important things… Like making our partners feel loved.
If after a long day you’ve been lying next to your partner in bed and realizing you’ve barely connected with them, don’t get down on yourself. I promise you, we’ve all been there!
Something that has been so important to both Sean and me has been making sure we put each other first above anything else. We know that we have to consciously take action and that intimacy doesn’t happen by chance.
And it usually doesn’t take grand gestures to make each other feel loved and for us to grow closer. It’s usually in the most mundane, simple moments that our love shines through. Don’t get me wrong, I love Sean’s over the top acts of love, fun surprises, and spur of the moment trips, but he knows the way I feel most loved and I know the way he feels most loved, it’s in the most simple and pure moments.
Over the years, I’ve taken notes and created my own formula for showing Sean that he’s the love of my life and for creating greater intimacy between us. I’m sharing with the hopes that it will help you as much as it’s helped me:
#1 - Schedule in quality time.
Regular dates are essential.
I’m talking moments in which we can connect, laugh, experience new things together, explore, and simply be in each other’s presence without interruptions...interruptions also known as toddlers!
This can come in the form of a fun night on the town, couples massages, drinks and appetizers at happy hour, a workout class, going to a movie, a walk on the beach, a relaxing day at the pool, and the list can go on.
Find ways that you can get away together and rediscover why you fell in love in the first place.
#2 - Be in the present moment.
It’s been said before: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” I can attest to the fact that it’s 100% true.
I’ve been doing everything I can to be present with Sean, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. By doing this, I am literally letting him know that his thoughts and words are significant. That he’s worth my time.
By doing everything within your power to stop what you’re doing… listen… make eye contact… and reveal to your partner that you want to be present to them, you can expect amazing results and greater intimacy.
Yes, things get hectic, especially with kids, and it may be hard to stop and listen, but I’ve found that it’s a practice that becomes easier and easier as time goes on. It's truly so important for the success of a relationship.
#3 - Don’t break promises.
There is nothing that hurts a relationship more than broken promises.
As cliche as it may sound, it’s true that actions do speak louder than words. I’ve seen firsthand how broken promises can literally tear relationships and families apart.
Sean and I have made a vow that we will always follow through on our promises. I think true intimacy must be built on solid ground… we have to be thoughtful about the promises we make and the actions we take to fulfill them.
#4 - Be affectionate even when things are stressful.
I’ve found that it’s possible to keep our physical connection alive in the most mundane of settings. There are simple, yet profound ways we can keep our physical connection sizzling… even when our lives are crazy busy.
We hold hands when walking, touch when doing basic things around the house, cuddle in our downtime, surprise each other with passionate kisses, or even just quick random kisses while passing each other in the kitchen.
The more you touch and connect with your partner, the more beautiful and satisfying things can become.
#5 - Small gestures make a huge impact.
In my mind, there are few things more important than small gestures that make Sean feel chosen, understood, and prized.
I love to make him his favorite meal, bake him his favorite dessert, refresh his coffee while he’s on his morning conference call, surprise him with a few hours at the driving range, pour him a glass of wine when he least expects it, organize his office, put gas in his car, and more.
Small gestures let our partners know that we’re paying attention and want to make their lives easier and more enjoyable.
#6 - Words of affirmation are hugely important.
I’ve learned throughout my life how important words are — they can literally make or break you. They can also literally make or break a relationship.
With Sean, I’ve found the words we say to each other are so important! So we’ve consciously made the decision to point out the positives, give each other compliments, let each other know that we appreciate each other, and share how much we love one another.
Yes, I totally get it, it’s hard when we’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, but I think it’s in those tough moments we can choose love over fear — positive words over hurtful ones.
It takes practice, but positive affirmations can make all the difference in the world.
#7 - Encourage them and show you believe in them.
As we build lives together, families, businesses, and use our talents, I believe that encouragement is a key ingredient.
As I watch Sean create and innovate, I let him know how proud I am. That I’m watching and paying attention to the beautiful things he’s doing. As a result, I notice how my support helps him stand taller. And he does the same for me.
As you trek through the ups and downs of daily life, dare to let your partner know that you see how hard they’re trying. How brilliant they are. Remind them what they’re capable of when they doubt themselves. And don’t be afraid to tell your partner you need more encouragement as well!
If you feel you need to set the tone for a more encouraging partnership, you may want to sit down together and talk about it. You have the power to set the tone!
As you flow through your relationship, I dare you to love more… to seize the opportunity to connect and show your partner how much they mean to you.
Also, I’d love to hear your secrets to making your partner feel loved. Please share below in the comments section. Can’t wait to read!