Having a new baby is a huge life change!
It's overwhelming, emotional, and absolutely incredible all at the same time. I have gotten numerous questions about how my husband and have I stayed connected after having children, and I wanted to share my personal tips with you.
This topic is hugely important for our families, as recent studies have revealed that 67 percent of couples see their marital satisfaction plummet after having a baby.
As I've learned along the way, true and lasting love is all about making important decisions and working at keeping the spark alive. It rarely happens just by chance.
I hope the following suggestions will help and inspire you along the way.
#1 - Touch Each Other
Don't forget to touch each other. Physical touch is incredibly important!
I remember after I gave birth to Kensington, all I needed was for my husband to hold and kiss me to help soothe my nerves and fuel my spirit.
The life-change of having a baby is extreme and can be very overwhelming for a couple. I found that when we engaged in physical touch it kept us beautifully connected.
I will never forget our first night home from the hospital. Kensington was next to us in her swing, and all I craved was for Sean to wrap his arms around me and hold me tight. He did, and it made all the difference in the world.
#2 - Set Your Priorities
Be conscious about your expectations for each other. Communicate what is most important, what is bothering you, and what needs to be improved on so you are both on the same page.
Acknowledge what your new roles as parents are so you can transform together rather than becoming distant to each other. My husband and I carefully communicated about our roles from the beginning.
I would do the night shift with the baby so Sean could sleep and be fresh for his work, and then he would get up early in the morning with her so I could get a few hours of rest. It worked perfectly, and thankfully there was no resentment.
#3 - Spend Quality Time Together
Be conscious about having good, uninterrupted quality time together. Stay up together after the baby goes to sleep. Consider having a delicious dinner and then watching a movie together.
Maybe ask a family member or friend to come over to watch the baby in the family room, while you and your spouse go lay in bed and cuddle. Go on date nights, and even try to get away on a mini-vacation every once in a while if possible.
Whenever Sean and I get our quality time together, I feel so much closer and bonded to him — even when it's a quick lunch at our favorite restaurant. Being alone with him makes me feel rejuvenated and inspires me to be a better mommy to my babies.
#4 - Cheer Each Other On
Tell your spouse how amazing they are and how proud you are of them as a new parent.
Express your love and appreciation towards them. A simple “I love you” everyday is so special. The most touching thing my husband can say to me is, “You're such an amazing mom." It literally melts me. It's the best compliment he can ever offer.
#5 - Be Easy on Each Other
You are both new at this, and having a child is a huge life change. Emotions will be swirling, so try to give each other some grace. Be extra sensitive to each other's needs.
I truly thank God my husband was so patient with me in those first few months. I was sleep deprived, constantly worrying, and totally overwhelmed. He was so compassionate and loving, even in my worst moments. He knew I was in the process of learning how to be a new mom.
Don’t forget to give each other some slack! 🙂