I've been there — my heart broken and fearing I wouldn't meet "my person." But as time would tell, I reconnected with the love of my life and I'm on the adventure of a lifetime with him.
In those moments of sadness, I discovered things that made me a stronger and bolder human being. I hope the following insights will help you if you're living with a broken heart and seeking to move beyond it.
#1 - Allow yourself to feel the pain and acknowledge your heartbreak.
Let yourself be sad. What you've gone through is a huge life change. It can be shocking and painful, and it's okay to take a few days and lay low at home. That may mean staying in bed and watching movies while eating ice cream. Do it! Let yourself just be.
Let yourself feel the pain of what you are experiencing — masking pain will only make it harder in the long run.
Before I reconnected with my husband, I went through a really shocking and unexpected breakup. It was devastating for me, but something that really helped was to journal all of my feelings and document my rollercoaster of emotions.
It was a powerful experience for me to take notice of how my intense feelings began to subside. It was very gradual — one second I would be okay and the next I would be in deep despair.
I allowed myself to grieve the loss of my relationship, the person, and the thought that we could have been forever. In acknowledging my pain, I allowed myself to be sad and vulnerable.
It's been said that "the only way out is through", and it's so true!
#2 - Surround yourself with nurturing friends and family.
The best thing I could have ever done was surround myself with loving and kind friends and family. You need a strong support system in your time of deep despair.
Being alone is the worst, so I decided to stay at my parent's house for a few days while I was dealing with the intense sadness.
The nurturing of my parents was exactly what I needed. Use your family and friends to talk through your feelings and emotions — they can share a perspective you might not see or even expect.
My best friend was with me nonstop as well, constantly checking up on me and endlessly listening to me talk about it. I am so grateful for her patience and unconditional love.
That's what friends and family are there for — to help us through our tough times in life, while also celebrating the best times.
If you don't have any family or friends nearby, you may also want to consider joining a support group online or in your community. Connecting with other humans is so important as you heal.
#3 - Reflect on the breakup.
After all is said and done and you've begun to heal, it's important to reflect on the relationship and why the breakup occurred in the first place. At the same time, don't let yourself obsess and think about every little detail of why it went wrong.
Don't forget to reflect on the good things as well as the bad. Mindful meditation can be so healing and helpful for getting through the pain and sadness.
#4 - Remove them and release them. Accept.
Whatever you do, do not call or text them if you know it's over.
The sooner you cut ties, the better. There is a reason things ended. The person who loves you and wants to be with you will not let a single second go by knowing they don't have you.
Please believe me when I say that. Moving on and healing properly relies on your ability to let go.
Cutting off the connection to them immediately will make moving on much easier. Embrace your feelings as they come and go. The pain will not last forever, but strong emotions will come and go when you least expect it so the best thing we can do is accept them, feel them, and learn from them.
#5 - Focus on YOU.
Focus on the positive things in your new life. Self-care is so important, especially during this very vulnerable time.
Don’t just jump into another relationship because you don't like being alone, work on improving yourself instead. This is the time to invest in yourself and your friendships.
Listen to relationship podcasts, read self-help books, talk to a therapist.
Constantly better yourself and heal so you can be the best version of yourself for the right person meant for you. Get involved with a charity, join a new gym, plan a fun vacation.
Keep yourself busy, active, and creative.
#6 - Be okay with moving on.
Once you have gone through the emotions, felt them, and healed, it's time to move on and find a new direction in life.
This is a fresh start and a new beginning for you. Get out there and be vulnerable. Meet new people and try to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Really explore what you are looking for in another person to spend your life with. Open yourself up to new experiences — start slow and build off of the confidence you gain each time you put yourself out there.
I promise you! If you stay brave, things will fall into place.